Liz Carl’s article vol. 3 “Keeping Eros alive”

Ela Szczygielska Carl  LCSW, CCEP, EMM Co-Director Core Energetics Polska:

I have enjoyed sending off these short articles on relationships. I whole -heartedly invite you to read this one  and hope it will bring  you and your mate  to DEEPER CONNECTION, the Spring couples workshop in Sopot, Poland.

I’m often asked: What  does a wife/ girlfriend  say to convince her partner  to attend a couples workshop with her? 

I interviewed Brian Gleason LCSW, CCEP, the originator of  Embodied Couples Therapy, also called  the Exceptional Marriage Method, (www.exceptionalmarriagemethod.com). This  is one of the few couples therapies  that includes  heart centered, body-oriented techniques to help heal and revitalize a  partnership. He and his wife, Marcia Gleason, LCSW CCEP have been working with couples and giving couples workshops for the last 25 years.

Brian’s answer:

” I would tell the wife or the couple that their sex life will probably get better if they attend this workshop.” 

“What?  I said, How?”

He explained that when a relationship is either tired-out or regularly conflictual,  it is difficult to  give affection  easily and reach towards having sexual intimacy. Conflict , resentment or lack of clarity is standing between the two of you even though what your your bodies, hearts and minds really want is  to feel and be close to each other. 

“In our workshops,   couples are often surprised at  how much closer and affectionate and turned on they feel towards their mate  during and after the workshop. Participating in one of these workshops usually ends in the couple re-discovering the love and passion they have for each other.

Hence- your sex life will benefit.”

 ” I agree with you and Thank you, Brian.”

One of the most common occurences in relationship that makes it feel  sluggish and NOT romantic…

Taking your partner for granted. Or the other side of the coin, feeling taken for granted in a relationship.

Much of the time, that kind of creeps up on the relationship.  

You find the right person. It is all exciting in the beginning and you both find your comfort zones with each other and feel grateful that the search is over. You can finally begin to build a life together with another human being!.

Building a life together turns out to be  HARD WORK – not just working hard at your jobs, and if you have children,  working  even harder,  out of love for them. Hopefully  the two of you are a good  enough team and you share  responsibilities.

However, inevitably, with all these responsibilities come expectations of each other, either spoken or unspoken. That’s where couples often fall off the rails.  They mis-communicate or their expectations of each other ignite old issues from the past which create confusing arguments and misunderstanding.

 RELATIONSHIPS ARE LIKE CARS.  In order for them to function at optimum level, they  need tune ups. If you feel you are in this point…Viola!- The DEEPER CONNECTION workshop in Sopot could be helpful.

It actually can be a powerful , healing and friend making experience- to attend a workshop where other people  are also working to come back to each other.

It takes courage to show up for a couples workshop but I can tell you, it can be profound and a whole lot of fun too.

I invite you to sign up for the workshop DEEPER CONNECTION  (Gleboka Wiez) , being  led by  my colleagues, two fantastic couples therapists- husband and wife team, Anna Timmermans CCEP, EMM and Cees Van Loon, CCEP. EMM .  The workshop is designed to help  couples clear their paths and create an atmosphere of connection and closeness. 

In the end I would like to share quote from “Eros, Love, Sexuality” John C. Pierrakos M.D. :

“Eros must be constantly rekindled, because it burns out just like a meteor entering the atmosphere. When it burns out, our problems begin: the one we find so alluring turns out to have annoying habits that we happily ignored under the spell of eros. But how can the eros flame be rekindled?
Through self-disclosure. As we disclose ever deeper truths about ourselves – our fears, our inadequacies, our faults – we open our soul to our beloved in a new and exciting ways. This is the excitement that keeps eros alive.”

Are you ready to delight in your partner…?